Mindfulness Meditation / Focused Attention Meditation (Part II: The Practice)

Mindfulness Meditation / Focused Attention Meditation (Part II: The Practice)

Learning to Live With Your Thoughts Instead of Fighting Them (Part II: The Practice)

This is the practice-based follow-up to the first post, “Learning to Live With Your Thoughts Instead of Fighting Them.” That first blog is the “what” and “why.”

This one is the “how.”

Not in a mystical way. Not in a perfect way. Just the mechanics that made meditation feel useful for me when my nervous system was stuck on high alert. If you live with anxiety, panic, rumination, or that constant internal scanning, this is written for you.

(Quick note: nothing here is medical advice. It’s education + lived experience, and it’s always okay to bring professional support into the picture.)

 Why this blog exists

Meditation helped me in a very practical way when panic disorder had my body reacting like danger was always one sensation away. I’ve talked about that in the first blog.

But what I’ve noticed is this: a lot of people understand meditation conceptually… and still don’t know how to practice it in a way that actually helps. They sit down, the mind gets louder, they assume they’re doing it wrong, and they quit.

This post is here to slow that down.

No philosophy lecture. Just practice mechanics, and why each part matters for nervous system regulation.

 How mindfulness and focused attention work together

Mindfulness is the noticing.

Focused attention is the returning.

They work together. Mindfulness tells you you’ve drifted. Focused attention gives you a place to come back to. And the nervous system doesn’t learn through insight alone. It learns through repetition.

That’s not just a motivational idea. That’s literally how skill-building works in the brain.

If you want the deeper explanation of what mindfulness and focused attention are, the first blog covers it. This one stays on practice.

 Preparing the body

What you do (in plain terms):

Sit or lie down in a position you can actually tolerate.

Quiet helps, if it’s available.

Nature sounds are optional (rain, thunder, beach).

Eyes closed tends to help most people.

A darker environment can be supportive, but it’s not “required.”

Why it matters (light science, no hype):
Your brain is constantly processing sensory information. Visual input in particular is expensive. Closing your eyes reduces what your brain needs to track, which can lower the “attentional load” you’re carrying into the practice. That’s one reason eye closure is often used in attention-heavy contexts and has been linked to reduced cognitive load in research.

At the same time, eye closure isn’t a magic switch, and the research shows it can affect brain rhythms and task performance depending on what someone is doing. So think of darkness as supportive, not essential.

The point is simple: make it easier on your system, not harder.

 Breath and full-body relaxation

What you do:

Take two slow breaths, with a slightly longer exhale than inhale.

Then intentionally relax a few “high tension” areas:

jaw

forehead

fingers

toes

Let the body feel heavy and supported.

Why it matters:
Slow-paced breathing is consistently associated with shifts in autonomic regulation and heart-rate variability, which is one of the ways researchers measure stress physiology.
And longer, calmer exhalations are often discussed in the research as being linked with parasympathetic influence (you’ll see this described carefully as “associated with,” not “directly activating a nerve”).

The other piece is practical: a tense body makes attention harder. When the body softens, attention usually steadies more easily.

This isn’t about forcing relaxation. It’s about giving your system a clearer signal: nothing urgent is happening right now.

 Equanimity

This is the step people accidentally leave out, and then they wonder why they can’t focus.

Equanimity is not positivity.
It’s not approval.
It’s not pretending everything is fine.

Equanimity is acknowledging what’s here without resistance.

Researchers describe equanimity as an “even-minded” relationship to experience, whether it’s pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral.

What it looks like in practice:
You widen your awareness for a moment and notice what’s currently disturbing you:

the noise in the house

stress from earlier

body discomfort

emotional tension

the background pressure of “I should be doing something else”

Then you mentally acknowledge it. Not to make it go away. Just to stop fighting it.

Simple phrases that fit this step:

“This is here right now.”

This moment is okay as it is.”

Nothing needs to change for me to rest.”

Sometimes I’ll also recall a feeling of safety or happiness. Not the whole story. Just the emotional tone. Like remembering the feeling you get sitting with a cup of coffee before the day fully starts, when nothing is demanded from you yet.

Why equanimity matters (mechanism, not poetry):
A lot of mindfulness frameworks describe the practice as monitoring + acceptance.
Acceptance-based approaches (including clinical traditions like ACT/MBCT) emphasize that fighting internal experiences often increases distress, while a willing, non-avoidant stance can reduce reactivity over time.

Said normally:
Resistance keeps the nervous system in threat mode.
Equanimity teaches your system that disturbances can exist without meaning danger.

The subconscious training effect (this is the part people miss):
Equanimity isn’t just a “nice mindset.” Repeated acceptance is a form of conditioning. Over time, it can shape how quickly you spike, how long you stay activated, and how fast you recover.

That shows up as:

less irritation

fewer emotional surges over small things

faster recovery after stress

Not perfect calm. Just steadier living.

 Choosing a home base

Now you choose a non-thought anchor. This is “home base.”

Common options:

the breath

a body sensation (like hands, chest, belly)

the visual patterns behind closed eyes

sound can work, but it’s harder for many people because sound changes and pulls attention outward

There’s no “best” anchor. The best anchor is the one your nervous system can return to without turning it into a struggle.

Focused attention meditation is widely studied as a practice that trains attentional control and engages networks involved in executive control and monitoring.

The goal isn’t perfection. It’s stability.

 The actual meditation

Returning is the training

This is the part that matters most:

Focus → wander → return

Thoughts will wander.
That’s not failure.
That’s the exercise.

A lot of people think meditation is “staying locked in.” It’s not. The skill is noticing you’ve drifted and returning without turning it into self-criticism.

Each return is a rep.

And the reason this matters for rumination is that repetitive thinking is closely tied to the brain’s default mode network activity. Many studies show meditation practices are associated with changes in DMN activity/connectivity, and mindfulness training has been studied in relation to rumination and depressive symptoms.

You’re not trying to win against thoughts.

You’re training attentional redirection.

That’s why the early stages can feel messy. You’re building a skill you’ve never trained on purpose before.

 Duration, consistency, and the “14-minute” guideline

I’m careful with time claims, because meditation isn’t a vending machine.

But research does support something encouraging: short daily practice can matter.

There are studies showing benefits with brief sessions (even 10 minutes) in different contexts, including attention outcomes and anxiety/well-being measures.
There’s also research on brief daily meditation over weeks, improving mood and anxiety-related measures.

So when you hear a range like 10–20 minutes, or a number like 14 minutes, treat that as an evidence-informed ballpark, not a guarantee.

The more important point is simpler:
Consistency matters more than duration.

If you can do 6 minutes daily, that beats 20 minutes once in a while.

 Falling asleep

Falling asleep during meditation is human. It doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. Sometimes it means your body is depleted.

But here’s the key distinction:

Meditation is wakeful awareness training. Sleep is not.

When you fall asleep, the relaxation may still help, but the attentional “rep” (notice → return) isn’t happening the same way, so the training effect is different.

If you keep falling asleep, it can help to adjust the conditions:

a different time of day

sitting instead of lying down

slightly brighter room

a guided practice

Not as rules. Just as experiments.

  Putting It All Together: A Single Practice

This is what one full session looks like, start to finish. No perfection required.

1. Settle the body
Sit or lie down in a position that feels sustainable. Quiet helps if it’s available. Eyes closed if possible. Let the body be supported rather than held upright by effort.

2. Downshift with the breath
Take two slow breaths. Let the exhale be a little longer than the inhale. As you exhale, intentionally soften the jaw, forehead, fingers, and toes. Let the body feel heavy.

3. Equanimity (accept the moment)
Before focusing on anything, widen awareness briefly. Notice what’s present:
noise, tension, restlessness, thoughts about your day.

Silently acknowledge it without trying to change it.
“This is here right now.”
“This moment doesn’t need fixing.”

If it helps, recall the feeling of a safe or content moment and let that tone settle in the body.

Spend about two minutes here.

4. Choose a home base
Pick one non-thought anchor:
the breath, a body sensation, or a visual pattern behind closed eyes.

This is where attention will return.

5. Practice returning
Rest attention on your home base.
Thoughts will arise. When you notice you’ve wandered, gently return.

No fixing. No judging. Just returning.

Each return is the practice.

6. Continue as long as feels reasonable
Stay with this for as long as you comfortably can. Consistency matters more than length.

7. Close gently
When you’re ready to finish, wiggle your fingers and toes. Slowly open your eyes. Let the transition be unhurried.

That’s it.

 Support tools and guided meditations

Guided meditations are valid. Especially if your mind is already exhausted from managing anxiety or rumination all day.

For me, the entry point was the Calm app and Jeff Warren. That’s where I finally heard meditation explained in a way that felt human and doable.

YouTube can work too. The goal isn’t the perfect platform. The goal is practicing in a way you’ll actually return to.

 Lived results

This is my experience, not a promise:

Meditation helped resolve my panic disorder. I was able to get off medication. I’ve been panic-free for over two years. Anxiety still exists, but it’s manageable now.

The biggest difference is that my nervous system doesn’t treat every sensation like an emergency anymore.

That doesn’t mean life is always calm, it means I can come back faster.

 Meditation is one tool

Meditation is powerful, but it’s not the only tool, and it’s not the “right” tool for every season of life.

Therapy matters. Medication can matter. Community matters. Lifestyle support matters. And if someone is dealing with severe symptoms, it’s not brave to carry it alone.

Panic disorder also deserves its own dedicated blog, because it’s more than panic attacks. It’s the entire relationship a person develops with their body and fear.

Meditation can be a central support, it doesn’t have to be the only one.

 In a future blog

In a separate future blog, we’ll go into imagery-based meditation, especially for visual thinkers and people who feel calmer when they have an internal safe environment to return to.

 Closing

If your mind feels like it won’t power down, you’re not broken.

You’re trained.

Trained to scan.
Trained to predict.
Trained to stay ready.

Mindfulness and focused attention don’t remove thoughts. They change your relationship with them. They give your nervous system practice at standing down, one return at a time.

Progress over perfection.

Safety over force.

Anchor your mind. Find your harbor.

References & Further Reading 

Below are the research sources and reputable overviews that informed the science-based parts of this post. I’m sharing these so you can explore the ideas deeper in your own time.

Eyes Closed, Sensory Load, and Focus

Eye closure can reduce mental “load” and distraction, which may make it easier to keep attention steady.

Slow Breathing, Longer Exhales, and Nervous System Downshifting

Slow, steady breathing is associated with changes in stress physiology and heart-rate variability (HRV), which researchers often use to study regulation and recovery.

Equanimity and Acceptance (Why “Not Fighting the Moment” Helps)

Equanimity and acceptance are studied as skills that can reduce reactivity by changing how we relate to uncomfortable thoughts and sensations.

Focused Attention Meditation (Anchors, “Home Base,” and Attention Training)

Focused attention meditation is widely studied as attention training: noticing distraction and returning to a chosen anchor.

Mind-Wandering, Rumination, and the Default Mode Network (DMN)

Mind-wandering and rumination are linked to brain networks often called the “default mode network.” Meditation research frequently studies how practice relates to these patterns.

Duration and Consistency (Why Short Daily Practice Can Matter)

Research suggests that even brief daily mindfulness practice can support attention and emotional regulation over time.

Meditation, Relaxation, and Sleep (Wakeful Awareness vs Sleep)

Meditation is a wakeful awareness practice. Sleep can still be restorative, but the “attention training” aspect is different when you fall asleep.

A reader-friendly overview on mindfulness and relaxation responses (non-technical):

Tools Mentioned in the Post (For Transparency)

 Mind Harbor Products:

The Meditation Starter (Beginner-Friendly) is a one-page printable designed to make meditation feel simple and doable, especially if you’ve struggled with it before: https://mindharborwellness.com/products/meditation-starter

Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics By Dan Harris. A refreshingly honest and surprisingly funny guide for anyone who has wanted to meditate but also secretly thought it sounded a little too mystical for real life: https://mindharborwellness.com/products/meditation-for-fidgety-skeptics-a-10-happier-how-to-book

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